Foster care is vital to the future of many children and young people. It is a temporary option to a difficult home situation and an alternative to being placed in an institution.
Economic difficulties, emotional distress or illness may strike any family, regardless of income level, educational achievement or where they live. Children of families that are going through a period of crisis find support and help in the homes of their foster parents.
Families with problems often receive help from a CAS. After looking at the situation from every angle, it may be decided, for the sake of the children and the family as a whole, that foster care offers the best chance for the children's well-being and the opportunity for the family to resolve its problems.
Foster care is a positive and successful program. Its twin goals are: � to provide a safe and caring environment that will encourage the child's growth and development, and � to make plans for a stable, permanent living arrangement for the child as quickly as possible.
Ideally, those arrangements include a successful return to his or her own family. If that is not suitable or possible, the child may remain with the foster family or an alternative permanent placement would be found.
(For simplicity, the generic "he', "him" and "his" are used in this information, although of course the material applies equally to females as well as males.)
Providing foster care is an opportunity to share your enthusiasm for living and your energies with a particular child who really needs you now. It's a chance to work with community professionals to help both the child and his parents resolve their problems and re-establish their family relationship.
Foster parents, along with family and friends, become part of a team. While working with agency and community professionals, foster parents help both the child and the child's family. Acceptance of the two-fold challenge, that of guiding the children during the time they are in foster care and helping them return to their own families, if possible, is a tangible way of expressing concern for children.
Many foster parents say they became foster parents because the rewards of personal growth and satisfaction of helping a child and his family when they really need it far outweigh all the effort and hard work put into the job. Others are convinced that it gives them the chance to share some of the richness that life has given them.
All kinds of children may need foster care at some time in their lives. Some may come into care because of a parent's illness or death; others, because there is conflict within the family. Still others may have been neglected, abused or abandoned. And, of course, there are many other reasons.
The average length of a child's stay in a foster home is six months, but because the time is determined by the child's need, he may remain just for a day, a week, a month or even for a number of years.
Foster children range in age from infants to 16 years old. Some young people remain in care until they are 18. These children come into the care of the CAS perhaps because their parents have requested care or have been encouraged to consider temporary placement and a voluntary agreement between the agency and the parents is made. Sometimes the decision that a child must come into care is made by a judge of the Family Court. It the judge determines that it is in the best interests of the child to be removed permanently from his family, he becomes a crown ward. For many crown wards, foster care is temporary until they can be adopted. But if the court has given the parents the right to visit their children, they may not be adopted and may remain in foster care until they are legally independent.
Some teenagers find they cannot cope with living at home, perhaps because of conflict or misunderstanding with their parents. Some are able to understand that life would go along better with some help, and they seek it on their own. Foster parents often choose teenagers rather than young children because they prefer a more adult relationship and enjoy the companionship. They want to help smooth the transition from home and dependence to living on one's own as an adult. Of the young people who come into care, a little more than half are 13 years old or older. They need a different type of foster home from the home that might be ideal for a younger child. Adolescents have had time to establish their own ways of doing things, their own likes and dislikes. They are not looking for another set of parents, but rather for support and guidance in decision-making, help in gaining self-confidence and encouragement as they try to develop a sense of responsibility for their own lives.
Many foster parents find themselves helping their foster teenager to get along with his own parents in an adult-to-adult relationship. Teenagers in foster care may find that temporary separation from their parents makes it possible for them to understand themselves and their own parents better or perhaps even for the first time.
The term "emotional disturbance" covers a wide range of emotional disorders stemming from an equally wide range of causes. Foster parents of a child who has special needs receive special training, through the Agency, to enable them to encourage and support their foster child as effectively as possible. Consultation is available from professionals on the team, but it is the foster parents who play the central role in helping the child.
Children who have a developmental challenge are children who, for various reasons, develop at a slower rate than other children. Their intellectual and physical range and potential is widely varied. Helping a child with a developmental challenge learn to tie shoelaces, go to the store or cook a meal can be a rewarding experience.
Physical challenges can range from visual and hearing impairments to malformed limbs or a condition that prevents normal physical growth or functioning. To see a child with a physical challenge practicing a new skill such as taking a few steps, learning to ride a bike or going downtown without help, is a reward in itself.
When these children come into care, it is often because their parents have requested foster care. The parents may have severe problems of their own and feel they are unable, for the time being, to give their child the care he needs. All these children, whatever their age, need an environment in which other people show them that they are important. The need to know they fit in as part of the family. They need all the support and encouragement the foster parents can provide.
Any child who has been physically harmed, seriously deprived of nutrition, care or affection or sexually molested, is an abused child. Physically abused children have often been verbally abused as well. Abuse can mean both actively hurting a child, passively failing to take proper care of a child or providing inadequate supervision. Child abuse is not restricted to the very young. Children up to the age of 16 who have been abused may come into care. Children who have been physically or emotionally abused or neglected have their own special needs. When they come into care they usually feel guilty; they feel responsible for their family being split up. They may assume that if they had behaved better, they might still be at home with their parents. To a child who has been abused and neglected, foster parents can offer a normal, stable family atmosphere. A little praise, some encouragement and the small rewards that form part of the give-and-take of family living, may be a new experience for this foster child. The warmth and loving care of a foster family may help him learn to trust adults as a first step towards his achievement of happier relationships.
Families who have the space to take two or more children into their home have a special opportunity to help keep a family together. When children from the same family can remain together in foster care, their personal crisis tends to be less severe.
The most important task of the CAS is to find a foster family who can respond to the specific needs and requirements of the child who is coming into foster care. In searching for the most suitable foster parents, the CAS tries to match, wherever possible, the background of the child with that of the foster family. A familiar atmosphere in which the child feels comfortable will help his development.
Foster parents have many characteristics in common. They have a sense of caring, which gives them a feeling of commitment to a child and to that child's best interests. They are good at working as part of a team. They are flexible and can accept the fact that foster children may have problems not usually of their own making. They also have the emotional stability to part with the child when the time comes.
They are able to be understanding towards the parents of the child in their care and through doing so, interpret the child's behaviour. Because they are sensitive to their foster child's needs, they are the people who come to know that child better than anyone else on the foster care team. They can make a major contribution in helping to shape the child's future.
Usually, people who become foster parents have children of their own. However, couples who have no children and single people may also be foster parents. In fostering, some people may find an opportunity for personal growth and development in working with a team of professionals. Others may see it as an opportunity to continue to enjoy children around the house. They have a warmth and an understanding they want to express and share with foster children. Foster parents find personal satisfaction in being part of a team playing a vital role in the development and future of a child.
Whatever the reasons for wanting to become a foster parent, a concern for children and a commitment to their successful development are the main qualifications needed.
The first step to learning more about fostering is a phone call to the local Children's Aid Society (CAS) to let them know you are interested. Some of your questions can probably be answered right away by telephone. If you are still interested, you may want to attend a scheduled Information Meeting with other families who also want to learn more about fostering.
If you decide, after attending an Information Meeting, that you would like to look further into fostering, you will be given an application form to take home. After you fill out the application and return it to the CAS you will be contacted to discuss the possibility of attending Pre-Service training. Pre-Service is mandatory training for all prospective foster parents. It consists of 5 evenings of more in-depth information and training within a 4 or 5 week period. Following the Pre-Service training, a CAS Resource Social Worker will be in contact with you to discuss the next step in the process to becoming a foster parent.
The Worker will meet with you in your home and conduct a number of interviews with you and your family. Any information you give the worker will remain confidential, whether or not you become a foster parent. You will have a number of opportunities to discuss in detail any concerns you may have and to ask more questions. These steps in the process will not commit you in any way to becoming a foster parent. In fact, you and the Agency worker may agree that your interests might be better suited to a different type of program with children. You could ask the worker about volunteer programs in the Agency or other community programs that need adult help with children or their families.
Because the best possible match between foster children and foster parents gives the child the best chance for growth and development, the Agency, in consultation with foster parents, decides if a particular foster home will suit a particular child. Both the needs of the child and the preferences and special abilities of the foster family are taken into account.
All information the worker tells the foster parents about the child is, of course, confidential. Later on, when foster parents learn something about the foster child that they feel might be particularly important, they should inform the CAS worker, so that other members of the team have as much information as possible.
Any confidential information known about a foster child in your home cannot be shared with neighbours or even with other foster parents. If it is necessary for information to be given to another foster parent about the child, the CAS worker can arrange for this information to be given.
A close working relationship between foster parents and the Agency is essential to good foster care. Foster parents are members of a team of Agency workers and other professionals. Because of the foster parents' close association with and understanding of the child, their opinions are sought in planning and making decisions that affect the child's progress and stay in care.
The Agency has ultimate responsibility for the planning and decision-making with respect to the child and his family. The Agency worker assigned to the foster child as part of the team will visit the foster family regularly to discuss progress and problems and to advise and consult with the foster parents. In emergencies, at any time of the day or night, an Agency worker is always available.
Foster parents have a special responsibility towards the foster child's own parents. One of the goals of foster care is to reunite families whenever possible if in the child's best interests. It is therefore important for the children to know that their parents hope to provide a home for them again in spite of what may have taken place to divide the family.
To maintain this contact, the child's own parents may be included in the decision-making for their child. Often, the child's parents join with the social worker, other trained professionals and with the foster parents, in working to establish the plan that will enable all members of the foster family to help in the child's growth and development.
If the child remains in contact with brothers, sisters and other family members in addition to his parents, the adjustment he will have to make on leaving them to come into care and on getting to know them again when he returns home will be made easier. Ties between the child and his own family can be maintained and strengthened by the parents visiting or getting together with him during the time he is in foster care. These visits may take place in the Agency offices or at the foster parent's home, if this is appropriate and if the foster parents agree. Some parents take their children out for the day. Some arrange through the Agency for the children to stay overnight with them.
While for some children meeting their parents again may be unsettling, these contacts do help to prepare the way for their return home. Many foster children welcome the outings or visits as reassurance that their parents love them. Their parents may be helped by seeing how their child behaves in an alternative situation.
The role of foster parents is to communicate to their foster child their own standards and values, to establish and maintain rules and to set clear expectations. In practice, foster parents can reinforce this educational process by their example and by praise, encouragement and reward. Any punishment that might be considered should be appropriate under the circumstances and to the age of the child. For older children, it might take the form of canceling a treat or withdrawing a privilege. Corporal punishment may never be used for a child in care. It is important for foster parents and teenagers in foster care to discuss their views on standards, values and personal behaviour. Foster parents and teenagers need to agree on rules for smoking, drinking, dating and curfews. The Agency worker can often help in these discussions. As part of getting along together, anyone in the family group should have the right to express concerns and complaints. Foster children should know that they can bring their problems to their foster parents who will listen with care and attention.
If for any reason the foster child will not be going with the family, other arrangements for care during the time the family is away must be made in advance. Foster parents should make sure the child fully understands that he will be away from them for a while and is well prepared for the alternative arrangements.
Being a foster parent is not an easy task. Few jobs demand more of a person. Fewer still give more in return. Children who are desperately looking for a sense of place and security to help them through a difficult period in their lives need your enthusiasm and energy, your skills and abilities. Children of all ages are looking to you to help provide stability in their lives. The personal rewards of sharing your home and your family with a child or young person who really needs you are very great.
For more information on becoming a Foster Parent in Simcoe County call (705) 726-6587 or 1-800-461-4236 Extension 346. We will review a checklist of questions with you to see if you would be a good candidate to foster.